Sunday, July 31, 2011

In the near future!

Dear friends and family,
I am so excited to tell you about all the ways that God has been moving in my life. For one, God is using the power of medicine to heal the feelings of depression that I am having. I have been learning a lot about depression and all the ways that it can manifest itself. So now that my meds are getting in my system life has been a lot easier. I am thankful that God makes smart people that figured out how those drugs can help people.

The thing that I am most excited to tell you about is that I have decided to have Gastric Bypass Surgery. I had been avoiding it because I thought mostly that we could not afford it. The good news is that we indeed are going to be able to. As of right now the most that we are going to to have to pay is 1800. That is a lot for us but it looks like I might be able to use some of the money from my retirement to pay for it . I am so excited that I am going to get my life back. Without the surgery my life expectancy is 58 with the surgery it improved to 78. I have been waiting for a long time for something to help me. I know that there are some of you that will think that there are risk associated with this surgery. There are risk. The risk of Dying is .5% that is all. The same as having a C-Section or Gallbladder removed. Both of witch I have done and survived. There is a risk of infection or leakage also. And there is also a risk of malnutrition. But The risk of not doing anything and continue to gain weight is so much more. Without the surgery I have a 4.25% of dying every year. Both my aunt and uncle have had this surgery and have done very well. I know that If I do all that they tell me I will be successful. To those of you that are thinking that I could loose the weight just by eating right and exercising you are right. However, If I was going to do it I would already done it. And I am likely to gain it back after the first major tragedy in my life. The other good thing about having the surgery is that I am going to get some counseling that I needed anyways. Matt is very supportive.
Starting tomorrow the only thing we are going to eat is meat, veggies, fruit and nuts. we are going to rock. So if anyone is wanting some junk food come to our house. We are planning to gather it all up and take it to the homeless. This is just the first step. Also tomorrow I am also going to start working out 3 days a wk with my trainer Jason at his women's only class. The other days I am going to be working out at home with Matt. I am ready to get back into the swing of things. I have been so tired of feeling so bad. I know that when I get back into this I will feel so much better.
Last night we got to go to a worship concert and dessert auction at the Lubbock Dream Center. Though we could not afford to buy a desert we were very blessed by the worship. I knew that God was speaking directly to me. The band that we heard was Shores of Grace. They sang a song about Lazarus and I felt like God was saying to me that that is how I am with all my weight. My weight is like my grave close and that God wants to take those grave clothes off. I pictured him unwrapping me and underneath I saw me in a beautiful white gown and I saw like a wedding and there was Jesus at the alter waiting for me. I have really been feeling God's calling this weekend to have more of a relationship with him. In church this morning Chris Preached about the things that give Christians Joy. And there was lots of conviction. Matt and I don't tithe like God says that we should. We give god the end of our paycheck instead of the beginning. And I call myself a Christian and I listen to Christian Podcast all day long. But I don't read my bible and I don't feel like I have a close relationship with God. And because of that I don't live out the life that I claim to have. One thing that all Christians should have is a desire to serve God and that is not something that I have had. I want to but I have allowed my depression to be an excuse. So that is what I am going to start working on. Getting in the word. And volunteering for childcare at the church on Monday nights.

This month I turned 29. I had a great Birthday. Matt and I got to go see Chonda Peirce at Southcrest. It was wonderful. Felt so great to just laugh. I am so thankful that she openly tells her testimony. She struggles with depression also. Go figure a depressed comedian. But she is on the same meds that I am on and is doing great. I also was very moved by all the rest of what she had to say. I left that night in awe. The next day Matt and I went Gargage sales and got lots of good deals and had lots of fun. That night we went to Brian's Steakhouse with mom and EJ. On Sunday we cleaned house and watched movies. That night Matt went to Walmart and got a new Wii game for me. We got Zumba fitness. Hopefully I will learn to dance. Yeah right We will try.

Bailey is doing good. She is going to be starting a preschool program at her day care when school starts. She is excited. I am amazed at all the things that she has learned just since she has been there.

If you guys could keep our family in your prayers as we work through this major life change it would be awesome. I know that we will not be successful without God. Thank you to all of you that have challenged me and have supported me this year. I could not do life without you. I have a goal of loosing 50lbs but the end of the year. Matt has agreed that If I do I can get and IPAD for Christmas. I have challenged him to loose 40lbs by October. If he does we will get to go to the David Crowder concert and get MVP tickets.