Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Dear friends the last few days have been crazy. I have been so overwhelmed with God and it is awesome. But life has been rough.

Went to moms this weekend and got to see Mark and Devie which was way cool. Didnt get to spend as much time with Dad as I would have liked but that is ok. Dad seems to be doing good this week. Dad got out three times last week. The latest was his trip to Ropesville on Sunday. He did have a little fall but he is doing ok. He slept till 2 o'clock yesterday. After we left Mom and Dads on Sunday we took my brother to check on his house on the way home. Turns out that he had been robbed. They took his washer and drier, a coffee table that was my great grandmas, the hot water heater and a tv. Thankfully no one was there when it happened and most of his stuff was at moms. He is ok. He says that it is just stuff. I never thought that I would hear that from my Bro in this circumstance but I am so proud that I did.

Yesterday was presidents day so I had the day off. I am thankful for it but was bored as crap. My morning started off bad cause I was really struggling with some sin. You know it is like in the Bible where it talks about the things that we dont want to do are the very things that we do do. And the things that we want to do are the things that we dont do. I quickly reminded myself that what God had for me was so much better than my 5 mins of pleasure. It is just so hard sometimes. I got sick yesterday after lunch so that was no bueno. Yesterday afternoon I was watching Netflix and decided to watch 18 and counting. I had never really watched that show before. I was so amazed at the faith that they showed. There is no way that I want that many kids but there are a lot of things that I would like to take from them. Especially how they raise their children. I loved the fact that they take any chance that they can to teach their children about Jesus and about being a servant. I love that their children go out and do things for other people. They even took their 11 kids on a mission trip.

Recently there has been a burden on the hearts of many people for the Fatherless. This was brought to my attention at the beginning of this year when a group of friends expressed to our life house their calling twords this. For them they have a desire to specifically minister to children needing foster families and adoption. And to minister to families that are wanting to adopt. But I have really been thinking alot lately about what I can do. Matt and I do have a desire to adopt when we are older. But dont feel like we are prepared right now to do so. I am excited about discovering ways that we can help the Wideman's and the Marshall's in this journey.

Last night Matt and I did not have Bailey cause she stayed at Mom's so we decided to go to a prayer meeting at our church. All I can say is that it was the most powerful time with God that I have had in a long time. There were several things going on all at the same time. First of all God was reminding me through the music that I dont have to live in my guilt, that God loves me just how I am. That He wants to use my struggle. Second, Our prayer pastor and his wife shared a really hard thing that was going on in their lives. It really hit home for me cause I have experience what they are going through several times. That is why I love E-life cause all the way up to the pastor people at E-life are not affraid to be real. And through there realness God was able to speak to me. He showed me all the ways that he has prepared me to do the ministry that I feel called to do. So many times I think that I am not capable of doing this ministry. But last night I truly heard his voice. I know that right now might not be the time but I truly feel that God would not put this desire in my heart if he was not going to prepare me to do it.

Things at work have been super crazy and I have been super stressed. I really need prayer right now. I really need wisdom and peace. Things have just gotten ugly. I know that the lord does not promise life to always be easy. But right now I wish that it was a little easier.

I came home today to discover that our electricity had been shut off cause we conveiniently forgot to pay it. I was so mad earlier. But right now I am glad that Matt and I have had the evening to spend time togethor without the TV and all the noise that would have been going on at home.

Well better go home and see if we have power. Hopefully we will.

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