My heart is so full tonight. Tonight my sister took our daughter home with her. Though I have missed her greatly. I am so glad that she is getting to spend time with her grandparents. Today has been a good day. For the first time this week work has been ok. The drama level was slim to none. And I am very thankful for that. After work I went and got Bailey from daycare and took her to Cup of Yo for Frozen Yogurt. She was so excited about going and that truly made my day. Matt also got off early tonight and we were able to go to dinner. We went to Chilli's as always. Afterwards we went to Wal-Mart to get a few things.
From there we went to a prayer training offered by Experience Life. At first honestly I was very guarded. I was not really sure what to expect. But as the night progressed I truly felt God's presence. Tonight I really got to just sit and hear his voice. To start out the evening we broke into groups and shared a prayer request that God had answered recently. I shared that I had prayed that God would save my marriage. And that God through Family Coaching, a life coaching ministry here in Lbk, had done just that. After everyone had shared in our small groups, Barry asked for a few people to share out loud what our prayer request was. I can't explain it but God gave me a courage that I have never felt before. I stood up and I said out loud in front of a group of people that God had healed me and Matt both from our addiction to pornography and that He has saved our marriage. And I am am so thankful. He put his super in our natural. He has created such a beautiful thing. I am falling more and more in love with my husband everyday. He is so good to me and he loves me so much. I am looking forward to many more years with him. After we got done tonight, my new friend Hope came up to me and talked to me. I was very encouraged by her. I am thankful for her obedience to God. She told me that God was telling her to tell me that my addiction to pornography and my healing from it was beautiful and that God was going to use that to bring him glory. Honestly I have never looked at it like that before. It was though exactly what I needed to hear. And that is the things that God has been showing me all week. I have to confess that there are times when I still have times when I want to look at the trash that for so long infiltrated my mind. And sometimes I can't lie I loose the battle against it. Monday was one of those days. But After a few minutes I realized that what God had for me what much better than my five minutes of pleasure. I know that by posting this to the world that I am opening myself up for a lot of grief. But for me that is ok. This is what I have to do. Like Hope said God is going to use my story in ways that I can not even imagine. And if that is here then I will be blessed and He will be lifted high. This week a good friend of mine told me about his son trying to commit suicide this last week. I was absolutely crushed. I can not tell you all the emotions and the pain that this has brought back for me. Several of my friends in college attempted suicide when I was in college and one succeeded. My friend Megan knew God and still felt the need to take her life. So all week I have been interceding for this family. Praying every chance that I get that God would give them comfort and that God would heal their son from this terrible sickness. I have lived this out before. It is a very scary thing. My wish would be that no one would have to experience this. So I beg you to pray for this family that God would reign supreme. He has already been moving in powerful ways and will continue to. So God has pushed me a lot this week. But the main thing that he has been doing is reminding me of the giftings and the life experiences that I have had in my life and that he wants me to use these gifts and experiences to serve him. A long time ago I felt a strong calling to intercede on other people's behalf. God has given me this passion back. My heart has been stirred and it feels so right. And two I believe that God has shown me that my life experiences are the very things that he wants to use through me. Whether that is at Family Coaching as I feel led or somewhere else, I pray that I will head God's calling in my life. To serve him in all the ways small or big.
Father, would you continue to speak to me and to reveal who you are. Thank you for all the things that you have done in my life. Thank you for all the people that you are putting in my life. I can not image life with out you or them. Continue to mold me on this journey with you. Amen